{December 2, 2012}

So update on life. If pictures aren't enough...
Living at my parents. Truly a blessing. They have been gone this past week. It has been a hard week. I've been feeling a little low and lonely. Not feeling enthusistic or motivated. Been fighting a 3-week cold- coughing myself to a daily migraine.. Me and Ty had the stomach flu. Fortunately, the boys have been amazing! Seriously, my kids love playing together. I mean sure, I have to intervene when someone steals a toy, or pushes the other one down. But all in all, these kids of mine are great! I don't love it so much though when I try go somewhere, ANYwhere for that matter. They love the car drive to get there, but the second we set foot in the store, they are having a flip out! Which sucks, cause I like to get out. I don't like to be home all day. Parks are cool. For kids, right? I mean, it's super fun chasing them around. Tylee has always been really good to stay near me, not run off too far, always have me in her sight. The boys, they wander. Sometimes I like to see how far they go, but I end up sprinting across the park to make sure they don't leave my view while I hurry to grab the other one and swing him on my hip. I sat the other night while we all watched cartoons and drank our milk before bed. Feeling kinda sorry for myself. I really wanted to go get my hair done. Go shopping without kids. And how amazing would it feel to sit and read a magazine while getting a pedicure, right? Meloncholy. Missing my husband. Jealous of everyone out there that is having a great time. Really wanted a smoothie or a shake, but in no mood to pack the kids in the car. I was excited for another day tomorrow, and swore to myself that I wouldn't let myself feel so low. Get the kids out... go do something super fun! Make them healthy meals. Think happy thoughts and all that good stuff. Which kinda helped. The next day was better. I did let myself break down to Darren though and happy to know he is always there for me. Not feeling the greatest but accepted my role in life and the stage I was in. But day 3. Today. It has been a good day. Early morning. Bath time, Play time. I got a shower in (bonus- but don't judge me) went to nursery. Bailey watched my kids while I got a temple recommend interview, ran around at the temple! ate left over pizza for dinner (seriously, no food makes me happier then left over pizza) And while all this was happening, I took every chance I could to thank my Heavenly Father for these beautiful heathly children! There is NOTHING in the world I would rather be doing, then what I am doing now! I realize what I feed my thoughts with are what send me on this wave of emotion. It's difficult not to feel complacent. It's a daily battle to not wish the day away. But my goal is to be happy now. spend quality time with my kids and all my close friends and family. Not to get caught up in superficial things to pass the time away. It's hard, but something to work on. My parents are home and I am super stoked! So grateful for them!! Happy they are taking me and my kids in while we go through this stage in our life. I mean really, I am pretty lucky. Look at all the things I have to be thankful for... and for anyone who may be reading this, my heart is full of gratitude!!! I don't let a day pass by without counting my many blessings.