my sob story

In Feb. of 2007, I was watching Newsies with my friend, Heather, when suddenly my body started to feel really dizzy and almost numb feeling. I stood up, and was like- woh, something isn't right. Then my hearing started to cloud over and I felt fine, other than my hearing was "numb" or plugged or something. We went to Pizza Factory that night with a bunch of people and for some reason... my hearing never fully recovered. I remember thinking, when I wake up, it should be fine. But never was. I went to the IHC and they gave me antibiotics, thinking that the tube was clogged up, but those didn't work.. they gave me something else and yet again- the medicine failed to give me back my hearing. So when I came home to St. George, I went to a specialist. They weren't exactly sure what the cause could be, so i got me an MRI to see if there was some kind of growth... bajillion dollars later, turns out it all started from some virus.

so i was sent to get a hearing aid. yes... a hearing aid at the age of 20. so pathetic... im blind as a bat and deaf as an old man. (p.s. i want lasik soooo bad) anyway, i got a hearing aid... wasn't working... blah blah... so i went to someone else to see if there were more options to help my hearing loss and still no help. repeatedly i have gone back saying that the settings don't work. i was told that if i didn't wear a hearing aid then my left ear- aka my good ear- would be working too hard to make up for the right ear and then give out on me. now were they telling me this to sell me a hearing aid? or is that 100% true? I have yet to find out. my hearing aid doesn't help me. so then everyone gives me a hard time "why arent you wearing your hearing aid? maybe you could hear better" i love you all for caring so much and i understand thats why they continually tell me to wear my hearing aid. but trust me! im more frustrated then anyone that i have to ask over and over again "what'd you say?" and that my hearing aid doesn't help with my hearing. not at all! if anything it makes my ear ring louder. which brings me to tinnitus. i have tinnitus, which is "ringing of the ear" my ear constantly is ringing. rings louder at times. when im stressed or tired i think? or sometimes i can't sleep cause all i can focus on is the ringing in my ear. which is the reason for this post. i think the ringing makes me a little anxious sometimes. and i want it to go away.

but it could be worse. and i love the hearing in my left ear soo much! and the partial hearing in my right ear, too.